Doing Something

Team members came in one-by-one. Each had a complaint about someone else. None of them were particularly introspective about what they could do differently.

Instead it was all someone else’s approach or behavior or attitude that was the problem.
What do we know about change? We know the only way that we can create change is by us changing what we do with the other person – how we talk to them, what we talk to them about, how we follow up with them – or do not – and what we share with them.

If we keep doing the same things with them and somehow expect they are going to do something different, we are, to paraphrase Einstein, completely mad.

Why on earth would they suddenly react differently without any cause to do so?
I love the Seth Godin quote: “Responsibility is often just lying around. Grab it.”

In pretty much every company, whatever the size, we can affect more change than we think – but sometimes it is just easier to complain about the problem than taking responsibility to be part of the change.
I urge you not to give up. No matter how many times you have ‘told’ someone something, try a different way. If you have never actually given feedback, try it. What we know is that it will feel awkward and difficult in both of these cases – because we are changing and trying to force the other person to change, and we do not know how they are going to respond.
We have a choice though. We can complain and be unhappy. Or we can try and create something different.

Even if it does not go well, surely it is better to have tried to do something about it, to take responsibility and control. Try it. Let me know.

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